We Indians should be proud of our heritage. We should be proud of our culture. It makes it hard in the midst of being scammed from all sides . It makes it hard to believe in the country. But, still we need to focus on what the hell we want to be proud of. . There is a sense of moral superiority in India when it comes to culture. We believe we are 'better' than the west . Morally superior. Portrayed especially in the 'item' numbers in all the indian movies , which most of us squirm to watch with our children in the same room - All these 'item' numbers with their suggestive lyrics are part of movies that are promoted as being 'family' entertainers. Many of these would qualify for mild porn. Women dancing in fancy bra and panties has become very 'normal' to watch in living rooms. Our sensitivity has eroded over time. I was watching a south indian movie show the other day and found that all the participants are in tuxedos and gowns . So what IS this culture of ours that we are proud off? Do we even know any more? Is it our food? Is it our clothes? What is this Indian culture any more? What is it that we are exactly proud of and consider ourselves superior to the west?
Monday, 16 May 2011
Our cultural superiority
So there is this video that was shared by somebody on FB. Nicely taken video. It was like a Maniratnam movie, the end caption being 95% of marriages in India are arranged. The divorce rate in India is 5% . WTF !! Yes it was like a Maniratnam movie- Beautifully taken and very illogical. The video was trying to imply that divorce rates in India are low BECAUSE OF arranged marriages. We think we have a superior culture because of our system of arranged marriages and low divorce rates ? I am not for one moment supporting or decrying either system of getting married. Marriages in either methods have gone down the toilet and marriages through either methods have been successful - And ofcourse I am sure most of us qualify any marriage that has not ended in divorce to be a successful one. Many women in India are staying married only because of social taboos. Some stay because of the children. No matter how abusive or incompetent and utterly useless your spouse is- drunks, philanderers- women put up with these scoundrels because they know they will not be accepted into their parents' family, considered a burden , or simply do not have the financial werewithal to walk out of these marriages which erode their soul every single day . Oh yes, we have to be very proud of our divorce rates.
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this really gets my goat too... this cultural snobbery. india vs rest. south vs north. mallus vs tamils... tambrahms vs the chaff. please, just bloody give it up!
ReplyDeleteGood point but IMHO you lost your objectivity when you said this:
ReplyDelete"women put up with these scoundrels because they know they will not be accepted into their parents' family"
Men, in India, stay in crappy marriages too I am told - married to uninteresting, uninspired nags. In any case, your point is valid but the first paragraph was so shrill (me being a dude & all) that I couldn't agree with you with the rest even though I wanted to...
Agreed Mukund. Point taken. Though it is debatable which is worse... beaten by a drunk or nagged by a b****h. Oh, and as far as 'inspiration' from a spouse... I must say, dude, you got some high expectations from a marriage. It is a tall order for spice of either kind to be eternally interesting and inspiring. In the long run, non-abusive, mutually respectful and 'live and let live' is good enuff IMO.
ReplyDeleteNavs,I agree with you on the culture part which has deteriorated over the past one or two decades. But i must say, Indians living abroad follow our tradition/culture far more than the ones staying in India and trying to ape the western culture :) As regards low divorce rate in India, It is not only attributable to women who are incapable of fending for themselves/social unacceptance etc,Men too remain unhappily married - Law in India blindly supports women in many cases leaving the Men with very little choice but to accept their nagging spouses. Your point is valid that arranged marriage is not the reason behind low divroce rate in India. There are many other reasons contributing to the low divorce rates.
ReplyDeleteGood one Navina. I wonder though if the social taboo attached to divorces has saved many Indian marriages (involving non-abusive, mutually respectful and 'live and let live' kinds) - "arranged" or otherwise.
ReplyDeletePadma, But if it is non-abusive, mutually respectful and live and let live, why does it 'need' to be 'saved' ?
ReplyDeleteYou mean, like people who may want to quit their marriages because they are just uninspiring and uninteresting over time ??
Anandhi, about the Indians living abroad, yes I agree- I was probably more keen on Balavihar there than here. I think the reason for that maybe simply the novelty part of it. Here, it is novel to 'ape' the west, and there it is novel to do something desi in a non-desi land. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteAgree about the law being more supportive of women (which IMHO it should be !!) haha !
So well written. I totally agree with both parts of your blog. Marriage is a compromise from both sides, whether arranged or not, there is nothing called a successful marriage - it is just like any other relationship, and both parties make it work. Walking out, as you said, truly seems to be an option that isnt available because of socio-economic norms. It sucks.....
ReplyDeleteDon't even get me started on bollywood item numbers, I dont watch tv or movies with my kids, so guess I am saved quite a bit of embarrassment.
Ha ha, and the culture and tradition - you need to travel to the Indian homes in the West to actually see that this exists!
Grrrrr......it does irritate me when i witness the tam vs mals; north vs south in India. But I dont know why, 6 close friends in Mumbai today - 3 Palakkad Tamils, 2 Tamils, 1 Konkani. Seriously, what am I proving?
Yes - Indians believe that they are morally and spiritually superior (and wrongly so!). But I am sure that the Chinese and Americans and the Japanese and the Africans and the Greeks and the Italians feel the same way about their cultures. I have not come across too many people from other cultures who deride their own clan!
ReplyDeleteThe question is - as human beings, are we programmed to self-promote our clan?